Friday, Apr. 20, 2012 9:56 p.m.

marriage and a new BIL that I have not yet met

Sister #5 got married tonight. She's in the Air Force. He's in the Air Force. He's being deployed in a week and a half. I first heard about it on Sunday. My parents heard about it on Tuesday. Engagement became official on Wednesday. Wedding was, tonight, Friday night.

No family was there. I've seen pictures of the ring, and I'm waiting on pics of the ceremony, which was held outside on some mountain, I believe. In Alaska, where they are both stationed.

I've never met my new brother-in-law. I only just became Facebook friends with him this week. Apparently they've been dating for about 6 months.

I talked to Sister #2 about it for a while today. Sister #2 is married, and pregnant with her second kid right now. We talked about what marriage really means and if we feel like Sister #5 really knows what she's getting into. Sister #5 is only 21 (but then again, Sister #2 was only 21 when she got married too). And I mean, I was 24 (and dating for only 4.5 months before getting engaged), so it's not like I was really that much older. And Sister #3, who is also married, got married at 23. So yeah, we've been getting married fairly young.

Anyways...it's been an interesting week for our family because of this. I hope sister #5 is serious about the whole thing and not just doing it as a way to get stationed at the same place as him after his deployment. And no, she's not pregnant, and yes, I actually did ask her this. Unless, of course, she lied to me, but I'm don't think that's the case.

Over the past few years, I've come to discover that I take marriage very seriously. As in, I really want marriage in general to work out for most people. Other than in cases of abuse or maybe the rare, and very extreme, irreconcilable differences - I optimistically believe that almost every married couple has the capacity to work through their differences and have a successful marriage. That's not saying that we always have to be amazingly happy with our spouse, as there are definitely hard times in every marriage, but that a successful marriage is one in which both parties continue to agree to share a life with each other. No Matter What.

I hope my sister means her marriage for real. I really, really do. One part of me thinks that she is too young, and that surely this will lead to divorce in the next couple years - another part of me reminds me that a) I met K at 21, and b) I got engaged after 4.5 months and we're still happily married 6.5 years later. Sister #5, though she seems immature in my eyes many times, may indeed be committed to making it last long term with this guy.

Our mom got married at 20 and had me at 21. Our parents are still married, almost 33 years later. It is not impossible for young marriages to last.

I'm both excited and nervous for my sister. I hope this marriage is for real. We shall see.
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I've been thinking about this for awhile, but after the discussion with Sister #2 today, and the fact that we have a lot of L.A. friends getting married this summer (now that they're in their early 30s) and that K and I are in our 7th year of marriage (OMG, time passes by quickly!) - I REALLY want to have some big, 10th anniversary party/renewal of vows celebration. Because the more I think about it, the more I wonder why we throw such big parties, in this modern age where divorce is so prevalent, at weddings, which is the initial promise of commitment. Why don't we instead throw lavish parties to celebrate milestones of that commitment? Because really, it's the continued commitment to each other that is the hard part and is worth celebrating the success of!

I told K that I really want to have a 10 year wedding anniversary party, if we can afford it. I want to do something fun in Las Vegas and invite anyone who we know that wants to come. Why not?? 10 years together will be a goal worthy of celebrating. In a way, more worth celebrating than our original commitment and wedding celebration. Because while in 2005 we said that yes, we would spend our lives together - in 2015, we will actually be able to show for 10 years of it.

Marriage is super, super hard work. It probably sounds crazy, and ultra-domesticated of me, but if there's one thing that I'm proud of in my life - it's my marriage and the fact that I'm so committed to making it work. We've been married for almost 7 years now...and we will always be committed to our marriage. I both chose well when I chose my husband, and I continue to choose to work through all our disagreements in order to maintain a good relationship.

I hope that Baby C will see this in us and our our own marriage and I only hope that she will chose to emulate our relationship in her own marriage one day.

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