Sunday, Sept. 28, 2003 2:48 p.m.
mint chocolate cookie
it's the little things that make me think too much.
I've only been to one Ben & Jerry's in my life and that was when I was interning in California in the spring of 2002. I had this AMAZING ice cream flavor called mint chocolate cookie. it became my all time favorite, but I never had it again after I left L.A.
so, since being back here, me and my roommate (who used to intern w/me) decided to take a trip back to the Ben & Jerry's only to be told by the lady that they had stopped serving that flavor 3 years ago! I told her the only place I'd ever had that flavor was in this very store 1 1/2 yrs. ago and she told me that I had to be wrong. she said she would show me the back orders to prove that I couldn't have gotten it there. (we got into a pretty heated argument over ice cream flavors - I'm a loser, I know!)
afterwards, me and my roommate could not understand this. we KNOW we had the flavor there, yet the lady KNEW that we hadn't...and instead of just dropping it and thinking the lady was an ignorant bitch like most people (including my roommate) would do, I instead turned it into this huge philosophical debate in my mind.
can there be two contradicting truths? if she knew one thing and I knew the other, how do we know that one must be right and one must be wrong? I trust my memory to tell me that I did have mint chocolate cookie at that location a year and a half ago. I consider that knowledge. and yet, the lady felt the same way about her memory.
and if I'm to say that her memory is faulty, how can I say that mine's not? how can I be able to trust my memory as knowledge, but others can't trust theirs? maybe memory is just as faulty in one human as another. maybe knowledge is also faulty. and I know this is a big jump, but if knowledge is faulty, can reason and logic also be faulty? what do we base our rules for reason and logic on?
it becomes "unreasonable" and against logic to us to say that there can be two contradicting truths (such as the whole ice cream issue), but if reason and logic are also faulty, why can we not both be right? and even though it may sound like I'm on the borderline of insanity, I think this is where I'm going to leave the whole issue.
we are both right...even though according to normal people that is impossible. I guess I'm just not normal! :)
who knew something as simple as an ice cream flavor could stir up such an existential dilemma?? :)
Thursday, Aug. 03, 2017 - hello?Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.