Tuesday, Jun. 14, 2005 9:27 a.m.

why people get married

ok, so I've recently had this whole new epiphany about myself and my vain intentions in keeping this online diary - but all that is gonna have to wait until later 'cause I have something else to talk about...

yesterday I was talking and getting to know this small group of people. one of the guys had a ring on his wedding ring finger, and another girl nearby asked if he was married.

he said no, that him and his girlfriend weren't into the whole marriage thing, but that they wore rings because of their commitment to each other.

and then they asked about my ring and I told them I was engaged and the subject changed to something else and we kept talking, yada, yada, yada...

only I kept thinking about this guy who wore a wedding ring but wouldn't get married.

and then I read rainforme's entry today. and then moretoknow's note she left for her.

and here I am, about to get married and seriously contemplating all that that entails. So...

WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE GET MARRIED??

there is something to say about commitment. yes, marriage is supposed to be a freaky thought, because it's a freakin important decision!!! but that life-long commitment, to both the good and the bad, is what makes it so incredibly wonderful and consuming and takes you to a whole new overwhelming level of love.

love is more than a feeling! it is more than emotions. I do not always feel this happy love glow around my fianc�. sometimes he annoys the crap out of me. we get frustrated with each other.

but I care for him. deeply. he is an amazing partner. we are honest with each other - we are still trying to figure out life and relationships and what we want. I am so happy and thrilled and content knowing that he will be by my side for life.

why are people so against marriage nowadays??!!! I seriously don't understand.

yes, weddings are dumb. I think so - and I'm still having one. it's not for me, but for my relatives and friends who want one. and yes, it is going to be a big party. I want people to celebrate with me. we've seriously considered eloping, but in 30 years, I will probably regret it if I don't have a wedding. I never got to go to prom, and I still feel a pang of sadness when people are comparing their remembrances of this supposed important event in adolescence.

if anything, get a marriage license for tax purposes. for insurance purposes. for all the benefits that come from being able to claim that you have a spouse. don't change your name if you don't want to forever be associated as one with your husband. but do if you want to feel like your are truly entering a new life with him.

why are we so afraid of making choices nowadays?? honestly, in the end, it's not about making sure you got the ultimate best choice, but about choosing the best you can and making it work with what you have.

I gotta go, but in case you haven't read it, here's my love and marriage essay with more about my thoughts on all this...

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