Monday, Oct. 17, 2011 - closing the chapter
Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2011 - I swore I wouldn't complain
Saturday, Sept. 10, 2011 - 39 weeks and freaking out about BFing
Monday, Aug. 29, 2011 - 10 years
Thursday, Aug. 25, 2011 - I love my husband
Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2011 - five lives
Saturday, Aug. 13, 2011 - 35/5
Tuesday, Aug. 09, 2011 - 40 - 34 = approx. 6 weeks to go.
Sunday, Jul. 24, 2011 - busy, busy, busy
Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2011 - strange confession
Sunday, Jun. 26, 2011 - just to write stuff
Wednesday, Jun. 22, 2011 - what I believe vs. where I belong
Saturday, Jun. 18, 2011 - worst case scenario
Wednesday, Jun. 15, 2011 - thoughts on weddings and being sociable
Wednesday, Jun. 08, 2011 - 24 days
Saturday, May. 14, 2011 - can't wait
Thursday, May. 12, 2011 - ramble: fb opinions pregnancy singledom
Monday, May. 09, 2011 - life and loss
Saturday, Apr. 30, 2011 - looking forward to the pain
Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2011 - information overload
Sunday, Apr. 24, 2011 - national infertility awareness week
Friday, Apr. 22, 2011 - Is judging others ALWAYS bad?
Saturday, Apr. 16, 2011 - 18 weeks of rambling
Thursday, Mar. 31, 2011 - to be continued
Thursday, Mar. 17, 2011 - -
Friday, Mar. 11, 2011 - water, lots of it
Monday, Mar. 07, 2011 - a fun surprise and a nervous email
Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2011 - There. I said it.
Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2011 - enough already?
Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2011 - email and shower
Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2011 - but I'm an ACT-TOR.
Tuesday, Feb. 08, 2011 - limbo
Friday, Jan. 28, 2011 - 30 is the new me.
Monday, Jan. 24, 2011 - acknowledging the journey
Sunday, Jan. 23, 2011 - tomorrow
Monday, Jan. 17, 2011 - 12/21/12
Friday, Jan. 14, 2011 - wine. yum.
Sunday, Jan. 09, 2011 - potential
Monday, Jan. 03, 2011 - L.A. is finally catching up
Saturday, Dec. 18, 2010 - aunt
Saturday, Dec. 11, 2010 - anyone out there?
Wednesday, Dec. 08, 2010 - the truth about teen suicide
Thursday, Dec. 02, 2010 - money
Saturday, Nov. 27, 2010 - I guess I'm bah humbug
Thursday, Nov. 25, 2010 - today's a good day to be thankful
Friday, Nov. 19, 2010 - reenacting
Wednesday, Nov. 17, 2010 - Christmas 2011
Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2010 - give up
Friday, Nov. 05, 2010 - -
Thursday, Nov. 04, 2010 - the latter
Tuesday, Nov. 02, 2010 - nope to dope
Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2010 - never getting away
Friday, Oct. 22, 2010 - I'm old now.
Thursday, Oct. 21, 2010 - so long, farewell...
Friday, Oct. 15, 2010 - incomplete
Friday, Oct. 08, 2010 - awkwardness
Saturday, Oct. 02, 2010 - the social network
Friday, Oct. 01, 2010 - today's the day
Thursday, Sept. 30, 2010 - understanding racism?
Thursday, Sept. 30, 2010 - #1 and #2
Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2010 - for worse
Tuesday, Sept. 28, 2010 - something good to come out
Tuesday, Sept. 28, 2010 - birds and #3
Monday, Sept. 27, 2010 - I'm only as old as you think I am
Sunday, Sept. 26, 2010 - -
Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2010 - it's my party?
Monday, Sept. 20, 2010 - october first
Friday, Sept. 17, 2010 - weird hollywood world
Wednesday, Sept. 15, 2010 - the usefulness of friendships
Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2010 - a wifey kind of life
Friday, Sept. 10, 2010 - a dog is not a child
Saturday, Sept. 04, 2010 - church.
Saturday, Sept. 04, 2010 - this unknown affliction
Monday, Aug. 30, 2010 - so many books
Monday, Aug. 30, 2010 - Emmy after-party
Friday, Aug. 27, 2010 - Las Vegas
Sunday, Aug. 22, 2010 - watching K's show
Friday, Aug. 13, 2010 - egg donor regret?
Monday, Aug. 09, 2010 - Mammoth
Friday, Aug. 06, 2010 - fat finger
Saturday, Jul. 24, 2010 - special cookie night
Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2010 - yeah CTY!
Thursday, Jul. 08, 2010 - oops
Thursday, Jul. 01, 2010 - waiting room
Monday, Jun. 28, 2010 - what it's worth
Tuesday, Jun. 15, 2010 - worth it?
Wednesday, Jun. 09, 2010 - 10 days
Saturday, May. 29, 2010 - it might be
Friday, May. 28, 2010 - fertiles just wouldn't understand
Saturday, May. 22, 2010 - ethiopia, here I come
Wednesday, May. 19, 2010 - to do or not to do
Tuesday, May. 18, 2010 - begin again
Sunday, May. 16, 2010 - living in 1862
Friday, May. 14, 2010 - fail
Wednesday, May. 05, 2010 - book club
Sunday, May. 02, 2010 - roommate wanted
Friday, Apr. 30, 2010 - emotionally in touch
Thursday, Apr. 29, 2010 - Testing PD/over
Wednesday, Apr. 28, 2010 - double loss
Sunday, Apr. 25, 2010 - seen/in the nude
Friday, Apr. 23, 2010 - believing differently
Wednesday, Apr. 21, 2010 - where's my flash-sideways?
Monday, Apr. 19, 2010 - so easy to get so far
Sunday, Apr. 18, 2010 - and it's that time of the month too
Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2010 - right?
Monday, Apr. 12, 2010 - this all better be worth it someday
Saturday, Apr. 10, 2010 - marriage reality
Friday, Apr. 09, 2010 - shouldn't
Thursday, Apr. 08, 2010 - happy birthday
Wednesday, Apr. 07, 2010 - -
Tuesday, Apr. 06, 2010 - For your sake I pretend, but for me I still hurt.
Sunday, Apr. 04, 2010 - what I believe, part 2
Sunday, Apr. 04, 2010 - easter
Saturday, Apr. 03, 2010 - day before Easter
Saturday, Apr. 03, 2010 - chatroulette and more
Monday, Mar. 29, 2010 - what I believe/my religion
Thursday, Mar. 25, 2010 - belief-o-rama
Wednesday, Mar. 24, 2010 - ed4bfP!6dp5dt!
Friday, Mar. 19, 2010 - at peace again
Friday, Mar. 12, 2010 - insanity
Thursday, Mar. 11, 2010 - intution or authority?
Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2010 - t-minus 4 days til ED4
Monday, Mar. 08, 2010 - single, married, childless, parent
Thursday, Mar. 04, 2010 - trying
Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2010 - making plans
Tuesday, Mar. 02, 2010 - missed opportunity
Saturday, Feb. 27, 2010 - you maybe, but not me.
Friday, Feb. 26, 2010 - a new place for that part of my life
Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010 - the "celebrity" of teaching
Wednesday, Feb. 17, 2010 - an old friend... :)
Sunday, Feb. 14, 2010 - where I'll be when
Wednesday, Feb. 10, 2010 - this is the way things are
Thursday, Feb. 04, 2010 - falling into place
Monday, Feb. 01, 2010 - 9 months to 30.
Friday, Jan. 29, 2010 - cabin fever
Friday, Jan. 29, 2010 - anxiousness
Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010 - the allure of teen pregnancy
Wednesday, Jan. 27, 2010 - remembering life before
Monday, Jan. 25, 2010 - isolation no more!
Thursday, Jan. 21, 2010 - isolation count, days 4 and 5
Tuesday, Jan. 19, 2010 - isolation count, day 3
Monday, Jan. 18, 2010 - isolation count, day 2
Sunday, Jan. 17, 2010 - isolation count day 1
Saturday, Jan. 16, 2010 - keeping track
Thursday, Jan. 14, 2010 - walking away
Thursday, Jan. 14, 2010 - I can't belive there are still tears left in my tear ducts, but they're still coming.
Wednesday, Jan. 13, 2010 - I wonder why I live in this time period?
Monday, Jan. 11, 2010 - mr. miller pisses me off.
Monday, Jan. 11, 2010 - too much caffiene and too much to think
Wednesday, Jan. 06, 2010 - IVF fears
Monday, Jan. 04, 2010 - google will make me a doctor yet!
Monday, Dec. 28, 2009 - sex in marriage
Friday, Dec. 25, 2009 - a happy Christmas
Sunday, Dec. 20, 2009 - it's time for a happy entry
Friday, Dec. 18, 2009 - how I keep myself busy when K is away
Thursday, Dec. 17, 2009 - what ttc does to me
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009 - island
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009 - admitting defeat
Saturday, Dec. 12, 2009 - the way it has to be...sigh...
Wednesday, Dec. 09, 2009 - cheers
Wednesday, Dec. 09, 2009 - does it get better?
Wednesday, Dec. 09, 2009 - I miss the days when I was cool or interesting.
Wednesday, Dec. 09, 2009 - hallucinations
Tuesday, Dec. 08, 2009 - christmas wish list
Friday, Dec. 04, 2009 - fakeness is ok
Wednesday, Dec. 02, 2009 - it's my party
Saturday, Nov. 28, 2009 - acceptance
Wednesday, Nov. 25, 2009 - glorified Ann Frank
Sunday, Nov. 22, 2009 - they don't tell you this stuff
Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 - -
Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 - this one's crushing.
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009 - I support him, I promise...
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009 - happy weirdo
Friday, Nov. 13, 2009 - better
Thursday, Nov. 12, 2009 - fuck everyone
Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009 - I may be writing a couple of these lame entries in the next couple days; it helps me get over it each month.
Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009 - will I ever actually know what it's like?
Tuesday, Nov. 10, 2009 - ditto
Sunday, Nov. 08, 2009 - Vegas
Friday, Nov. 06, 2009 - and in bad, II
Friday, Nov. 06, 2009 - and in bad
Sunday, Nov. 01, 2009 - marriage, stage two
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009 - P
Tuesday, Oct. 27, 2009 - past and future
Sunday, Oct. 25, 2009 - what to say, what not to say
Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2009 - I don't want to wake up tomorrow.
Tuesday, Oct. 20, 2009 - RIP GeoCities
Monday, Oct. 19, 2009 - delusions of pubescence
Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009 - high on optimism
Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009 - knowing
Wednesday, Oct. 07, 2009 - one vs. the other
Friday, Oct. 02, 2009 - random thoughts, dated 10/2/09
Tuesday, Sept. 29, 2009 - So it's MFI no more?
Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2009 - subject change, sort of:
Tuesday, Sept. 22, 2009 - yeah, this is an angry entry
Sunday, Sept. 20, 2009 - we did it
Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 - recipe for success
Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 - when is my turn?
Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009 - I lasted only 8 days
Sunday, Sept. 13, 2009 - I'm really doing it.
Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 - a year ago today
Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 - new job and weird dreams
Friday, Sept. 11, 2009 - wow, how it all changes
Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009 - is there a doctor in the house?
Monday, Sept. 07, 2009 - ahhhh!!! tomorrow!!! teenagers!!!
Sunday, Aug. 30, 2009 - michael's bday
Saturday, Aug. 29, 2009 - the new school year approaches
Chapters of My Life
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.