Monday, Apr. 10, 2006 - ending was not the original intent of this entry, but as it came out, I realized that I had made a decision. it�s time for goodbye.
Sunday, Apr. 09, 2006 - drunk and in love
Saturday, Apr. 08, 2006 - http://realthoughts.diaryland.com
Monday, Apr. 03, 2006 - just to make this time worth something.
Monday, Mar. 27, 2006 - soulforce
Monday, Mar. 27, 2006 - terri schiavo
Monday, Mar. 20, 2006 - I want to get better
Saturday, Mar. 18, 2006 - christian high school
Friday, Mar. 17, 2006 - not going away
Tuesday, Mar. 14, 2006 - entertainment vs. education career
Wednesday, Mar. 08, 2006 - depressed again?
Thursday, Mar. 02, 2006 - sorry
Monday, Feb. 20, 2006 - misery
Monday, Feb. 20, 2006 - glaam rg 2006
Thursday, Feb. 16, 2006 - a slow and painful death...
Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 - should is not could
Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2006 - -
Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2006 - hate for this class
Sunday, Feb. 12, 2006 - I can't.
Tuesday, Feb. 07, 2006 - on my future occupation
Saturday, Feb. 04, 2006 - marriage is hard sometimes
Thursday, Feb. 02, 2006 - weekday me
Wednesday, Feb. 01, 2006 - fuck you protesters
Sunday, Jan. 29, 2006 - to write...
Thursday, Jan. 26, 2006 - no cheese for my whine
Sunday, Jan. 22, 2006 - something worthwhile to fill my time
Friday, Jan. 20, 2006 - a teacher's life
Monday, Jan. 16, 2006 - I started writing before I realized it was #400
Monday, Jan. 16, 2006 - honeymoon II
Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 - girls night
Friday, Jan. 06, 2006 - jury duty
Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 - old people stink
Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005 - time keeps on ticking...and stressing me out...
Wednesday, Dec. 21, 2005 - bff
Monday, Dec. 19, 2005 - young. married. in hollywood. making more sense. I hope.
Sunday, Dec. 11, 2005 - young. married. in hollywood.
Monday, Dec. 05, 2005 - ticket to a new identity
Saturday, Dec. 03, 2005 - my sister, part 183
Thursday, Dec. 01, 2005 - i hate poems and i just wrote one
Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2005 - just existing
Sunday, Nov. 20, 2005 - satisfactory love
Friday, Nov. 18, 2005 - packing for the funny farm
Friday, Nov. 18, 2005 - it's like I'm always stoned
Thursday, Nov. 17, 2005 - no comprendo
Thursday, Nov. 17, 2005 - lonley
Monday, Nov. 14, 2005 - dear diaryland god, what is happening here??
Thursday, Nov. 10, 2005 - life would be so much easier if we could just have sex for fun and this stupid thing called procreation wasn't involved
Thursday, Nov. 10, 2005 - thanks for asking
Tuesday, Nov. 08, 2005 - we don't have hormones for nothing
Monday, Nov. 07, 2005 - statement 2
Monday, Nov. 07, 2005 - statement 1
Saturday, Nov. 05, 2005 - culture
Wednesday, Nov. 02, 2005 - four entries
Wednesday, Nov. 02, 2005 - why I dislike stupid people
Wednesday, Nov. 02, 2005 - lonley
Wednesday, Nov. 02, 2005 - squished
Sunday, Oct. 30, 2005 - losing interest
Wednesday, Oct. 26, 2005 - new social security card
Monday, Oct. 24, 2005 - trying to explain
Thursday, Oct. 20, 2005 - ...and it has been
Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2005 - my thunder is about to be stolen
Sunday, Oct. 16, 2005 - you can't judge a diary by its...
Sunday, Oct. 16, 2005 - just saw elizabethtown
Wednesday, Oct. 12, 2005 - appearance
Wednesday, Oct. 12, 2005 - back in the saddle
Saturday, Oct. 08, 2005 - what's important?
Wednesday, Oct. 05, 2005 - they call me mrs. p
Chapters of My Life
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.