Friday, Aug. 08, 2008 - this is marriage
Thursday, Aug. 07, 2008 - forget it, I gave up my hopes.
Sunday, Aug. 03, 2008 - nearby friends
Saturday, Aug. 02, 2008 - before postsecret: I was there
Monday, Jul. 28, 2008 - solitary
Sunday, Jul. 20, 2008 - inspiration and reminder
Saturday, Jul. 19, 2008 - our story: the long version
Sunday, Jul. 13, 2008 - wrap party. job offer.
Friday, Jul. 11, 2008 - something to hold on to it by
Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2008 - me, as a math teacher?
Wednesday, Jul. 02, 2008 - my 15 minutes
Saturday, Jun. 28, 2008 - boredom/aging/donating/ missions/opinions
Wednesday, Jun. 25, 2008 - 5 drinks more than I should be.
Tuesday, Jun. 24, 2008 - random rant about strapless wedding dresses
Thursday, Jun. 19, 2008 - waiting...to keep waiting...
Friday, Jun. 13, 2008 - 65 eggs
Thursday, Jun. 12, 2008 - a lot of egg donor talk
Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2008 - boredom = not good stuff
Sunday, Jun. 08, 2008 - emotions and the other guy
Friday, Jun. 06, 2008 - secrets that make me smile
Friday, Jun. 06, 2008 - into the wild
Wednesday, Jun. 04, 2008 - shedding off a couple years...
Monday, Jun. 02, 2008 - donation #2
Thursday, May. 29, 2008 - nothing new
Tuesday, May. 27, 2008 - mid-to-late
Saturday, May. 24, 2008 - too many thoughts
Thursday, May. 15, 2008 - playing housewife
Sunday, May. 11, 2008 - stuff I've done
Sunday, May. 11, 2008 - diclaimer
Sunday, May. 11, 2008 - fuck this.
Thursday, May. 08, 2008 - beginning to understand...something
Sunday, May. 04, 2008 - selling out
Saturday, May. 03, 2008 - goodnight
Sunday, Apr. 27, 2008 - unsettled
Thursday, Apr. 24, 2008 - blah and discouraged
Thursday, Apr. 24, 2008 - if I had been there...
Monday, Apr. 21, 2008 - twins
Friday, Apr. 18, 2008 - flirting, sex, eggs, babies - not necessarily in that order...
Sunday, Apr. 06, 2008 - feeling pretty
Sunday, Apr. 06, 2008 - reminiscencing christian college
Friday, Apr. 04, 2008 - spellling woes
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2008 - anal beads and porn tapes
Friday, Mar. 28, 2008 - stacy's mom sucks
Monday, Mar. 24, 2008 - knocking someone up
Friday, Mar. 21, 2008 - weddings, post-nuptial
Monday, Mar. 17, 2008 - 27
Friday, Mar. 14, 2008 - coming to a conclusion
Friday, Mar. 14, 2008 - not forever
Friday, Mar. 14, 2008 - opposites don't attract
Wednesday, Mar. 12, 2008 - so I don't forget the pain
Tuesday, Mar. 04, 2008 - it's safe to say that today mattered
Saturday, Mar. 01, 2008 - why???
Friday, Feb. 29, 2008 - not sure if the analogy works
Thursday, Feb. 21, 2008 - immunity
Tuesday, Feb. 12, 2008 - trip of a lifetime
Monday, Feb. 11, 2008 - -
Saturday, Feb. 09, 2008 - on being an egg donor
Tuesday, Feb. 05, 2008 - it begins...
Thursday, Jan. 31, 2008 - a letter in response to a long-ago written essay
Thursday, Jan. 31, 2008 - blah. kid is filming. I'm just sitting here. bored enough to write this entry.
Wednesday, Jan. 23, 2008 - Surprise - we're not pregnant!
Sunday, Jan. 06, 2008 - atonment
Sunday, Jan. 06, 2008 - hatebook
Thursday, Jan. 03, 2008 - let them be teens...
Sunday, Dec. 30, 2007 - The Moment of Truth
Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007 - -
Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2007 - i suck
Thursday, Dec. 06, 2007 - agirlouttheresomewhere
Wednesday, Dec. 05, 2007 - "he's a product of young women like you"
Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007 - I might be half-way normal!
Sunday, Nov. 25, 2007 - 3rd Christmas
Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2007 - The Civil War
Friday, Nov. 16, 2007 - carolers? seriously?
Sunday, Nov. 04, 2007 - making babies part II
Friday, Nov. 02, 2007 - making babies
Friday, Nov. 02, 2007 - I should have subbed
Thursday, Nov. 01, 2007 - the god of interent resides in my home
Monday, Oct. 29, 2007 - overwheming
Monday, Oct. 22, 2007 - 27
Thursday, Oct. 18, 2007 - if I died today...
Monday, Oct. 15, 2007 - things I'm thinking about
Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007 - that job I never talked about
Wednesday, Sept. 26, 2007 - I really hope
Tuesday, Sept. 25, 2007 - nope
Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2007 - it might actually happen
Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2007 - casting process
Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2007 - speaking of game shows...
Sunday, Sept. 09, 2007 - I probably won't even get a callback, but...
Wednesday, Sept. 05, 2007 - oh, but the good news is that I now have a garbage disposal.
Wednesday, Aug. 22, 2007 - "oh, I forgot to tell you..."
Thursday, Aug. 16, 2007 - back on-set
Wednesday, Aug. 08, 2007 - the job that was too good to be true.
Tuesday, Aug. 07, 2007 - albiet a bad financial decision...this sidekick is AWESOME!
Sunday, Aug. 05, 2007 - pointless happy entry
Wednesday, Aug. 01, 2007 - this might be a bad decision
Wednesday, Aug. 01, 2007 - one of my secrets:
Chapters of My Life
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.