Friday, Sept. 20, 2013 4:28 p.m.

come what may

I figure I should document this time right now.

We re overdrawn again. Our main credit card no longer works because I have not made a payment. Our other credit card is now calling me consistently. Thank God for living in a world of caller id though, so it's easy for me to ignore their calls. I'm sure the next step is collections. But oh well. I can't do anything about it; I'd pay if I could. The credit card company will just have to wait.

That's all we can do too.

And sorry, credit cards, that you're the things I had to cut out of the budget. Rent and utilities and food trumped you. You can throw as many late fees at me as you want, you can call and leave as many messages as you want. You're not getting any money until I get some money. That's just the way it it. Too bad for us all.

It's funny, literally having no money. At least not for the next 5 days. I have a little bit of cash. That will buy us pizza tonight. We have gas in the car for me to get to my "meet the midwives" info session tomorrow. We have clothes, we have enough food to make it. We ave our electricity, tv, internet, and cell phones on still. We're doing good. Well, we're doing ok. But ok is good. We're alive and we have each other and we have a super cute little now-2-yr-old daughter.

We also have this other kid on the way, but eh, that is way too overwhelming to think about and we have several months until we REALLY have to think about it, so for right now, we're not. It can't be dealt with at the moment.

I've had two OB appts so far. At each one, I've had to ask specifically what things will cost. I know the bills will be coming soon. I know I've already cleaned out the little bit of HSA savings that we had, so I'm just waiting until the bills come in to figure it all out. Hey, if anything, it's making me a more responsible patient, right?

They did some bloodwork on me this past week, and instead of just sitting them and letting them take it, I had to ask what they were testing for and if there were anything I could eliminate from testing and maybe prove from previous medical tests. I'm glad I asked. They were going to test for cystic fibrosis, but I found out that I could get my results from my previous pregnancy to show them instead. Apparently that saved me $500 right there.

I know I used a midwife last pregnancy too, but this time, I almost forced into using one, due to cost. I have another OB appt in a couple weeks. Honestly, I'm planning to cancel it. I can't afford it. The ultrasound alone will cost me $200. I've seen the baby and all looks well - so I'm willing to just go on trust now. I don't need any more ultrasounds for awhile. The midwife won't push me into ultrasounds, nor require them. She also wont push me into any testing that I don't want/can't afford.

(I'd love to do my NT testing in about a month, but again, unless something awesome happens, I don't know how I can afford that. I will just have to keep my fingers crossed and pray that there are no soft markers for down's or a triosmy. I'm still young enough, I hope, where there's not too much risk anyway. Right?)

K got a phone call today, working out the financial terms of this deal he has with a production company for a tv show. It's not really a deal though. It's a empty deal, or a promise of a deal. It says, "hey we like your idea. If we can sell it to a network, we'll pay you a whole bunch of money in one lump sum. But if it doesn't sell, eh, too bad, so sad, you get nothing. But in the meantime, let's talk bout big numbers of money just to make you salivate over things that probably won't happen anyway".

Such is our life. A six-figure carrot is placed dangling in front of us, while we sit here, barely able to scrape together enough cash to afford a $5.99 pizza for dinner.

My college homecomming is in about a month. No plane tickets have been purchased. No car has been rented. No dress has been bought. Nothing has been done other than reserve a hotel room. I'm still jut hoping, somehow, that money comes in soon and it all works out at the last minute.

There really should be checks that are coming in soon. K is die two $1200 checks from some side work that he's done. But it takes forever for that company to process and send their checks. So we're just waiting. And waiting.

Waiting is our life.

K also finally took care of our taxes this week!! Such a huge weight off my shoulders. And guess what?? We get money back!! How in the heck that happened, I don't know. I thought we would owe thousands of dollars. I guess we have a good accountant? I can't remember what K told me, but I think it's a grand? I don't know what the IRS turnaround time is, but hopefully not too long?

Now that we've done our taxes, apparently out our new low income made us eligible for some other $2500 tax credit of some sort? That's what the accountant told K, though I don't think K has finished the application for it. I need to prod more about this. I also need to see if I can start applying for any other hardship type of program now that our taxes have FINALLY been done.

So really. Money SHOULD be coming in soon. Things SHOULD be looking up soon. K's actual deal with this network that bought a pilot should be worked out soon and even after splitting the fee with the other co-writer/producer, and after paying all the taxes, and after paying the percentages to his agent and lawyer, we should hopefully end up with $5-10,000. So that money is supposedly also coming in soon.

But it's not here yet. Nothing is here yet. For now we just sit and wait. And wait. And wait. And dig money from the couch cushions. And ignore phone calls from credit card companies. And hope that a midwife will negotiate her fees to our financial situation. And dream of the day a network wants to buy K's show and we become hundred-thousandaires overnight so that I can afford to go to my 10 yr. college homecomming and look as cool as I always thought I'd be 10 years out of college.

Sigh. I hope the future has good things for us.

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