Friday, Oct. 01, 2004 2:28 p.m.
Mensa qualifying exam
ok, so I realize that this is totally bragging and that I really shouldn't say anything, but hey, this is a freakin diary for God's sake and I should be allowed to say whatever I want! :) anyways, so like 2 weeks ago, I did something completely random and went one sat. morning to go take the mensa qualifying exam. I knew I wasn't smart enough to actually make it or anything, I just wanted to take it, well, to know that I wasn't smart enough to make it, I guess... realistically, I'm not gonna lie, I think that I can probably do better on an IQ test than most. I've taken a few online tests and even took the mensa take-at-home test. I imagine myself to be maybe top 5% if I'm lucky, but definitely not top 2% which is what you have to have for mensa. when I took the mensa take-at-home test, I was only top 5%, so really and truely, I took the real mensa test that sat. just for the heck of it. I got the letter in the mail today, and had already been preparing myself to read "Thank you for taking the Mensa Qualifying Test. Unfortunatley, we cannot extend a membership invitation to you based on your score...", but NO. instead, as absolutely strange as it may be, my letter said, "CONGRATULATIONS! Your Mensa Admissions testing has been scored and, based on the precentiale rank, you qualify for admission to Mensa." I mean, I can't even spell half the time! I really think that there had to be a mistake and maybe they got my score confused with someone else's. I mean, it's not a mistake I'm going to try to correct or anything, of course...but still, maybe they're bending the rules 'cause they are trying to increase their membership or something?? I have no idea but it's still really surreal and I don't know what to do with this letter. I'm sure I'll join, it'll be fun to pretend that I'm as smart as others that are in there, but I really don't think I am...
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.