2002-03-22 6:49 a.m.
My car has a HUGE dent in the side now
This has got to be super short 'cause I've got to start getting ready for work. I also have to call the registar's office back at school 'cause it seems that I am not enrolled in school anymore (not that I really want to be there, but still) and can't sign up for classes. I also have to call my insurance seeing as how yesterday I became an 'offical California driver' and had my first wreck on the L.A. freeway.
Yeah, yesterday was crappy. The morning started off horrible, even before the wreck. I left my parking card and my Paramount ID card at home. I had fallen asleep in my clothes the night before, which always makes you feel gross when you wake up. I had no more good clean underwear and had to wear uncomfotable ones (OK, so I'm sorry if you didn't care to know this! :)) I was late for work. I couldn't get hold of my friend to find out some information I really needed.
And then, out of NOWHERE, my car just jerks into the right lane after some huge impact on the left. I slam on the brakes, which only suceeds in me swerving out of control. I don't really remember much, other than me trying to get my car under control. I was surprisingly clear-minded and calm, though. So, I stop, and there's tons of cars around me, as there always is on the 101 in the middle of the downtown/Hollywood area. I was lucky I didn't hit any of them 'cause I really think I swerved into the other lanes. Yeah, so I pulled over and there was two other cars, but they didn't seem to know how my car was hit. They had hit each other and didn't see me. And of course, it totally came out of the blue to me and I saw absolutely nothing, so I didn't know what happend either. One guy said there was another car that hit me, but took off, meaning it was a hit and run.
Anyways, I know that no one cares about all these details, but I'd never been in a wreck before, and when I realized that it may be a hit and run and no one would pay for my car and having to call my mom, made me start crying. I'm suck a dork. I tried so hard to be big and not cry, but it didn't work. You feel really stupid on the side of the highway when hundreds of cars are passing you and you're crying.
But, people out here are really nice. One of the other guys that got hit was asking me if I was OK and if I needed a hug, the lady I work for was real sweet about me being late, the people let me in the parking garage for free even though I didn't have my card and the security guards let me into the Paramount lot even w/o my ID. They knew who I was and even remembered my name, which surprised me but made me feel good.
Anyways, this was supposed to be super short. oops!! I do have to much to do right now, though!!
Thursday, Aug. 03, 2017 - hello?Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.