Friday, Apr. 18, 2008 6:16 p.m.

flirting, sex, eggs, babies - not necessarily in that order...

I sometimes like talking to guys and wondering when it will come up that I'm married - and then after they find out, seeing how long the conversation will continue.

The weird thing is that because I've never been much of an outright flirt - I'm now finding that I can act around guys the exact same way I acted around them when when I was single: I can joke and tease, knowing that it will never go anywhere...now I just have a better excuse for why not. :)

And this behavior is oddly acceptable in this city and this industry - good thing K and I both understand this and trust each other...
____________
I am sick of reading friends blogs from home and they are all about their new babies. And millions of pictures. ugh. Do people just cease being their own person after they've created another?

Note to self: When I have kids, talk about something other than them once in awhile...
__________
After all my egg donor woes several months ago, I am now matched with two other couples. Yes, two, so after I finish the one that hasn't yet started, I'm already matched with another couple.

The interesting thing is I kind of found the third couple online. Or at least, I'm almost positive that it's them. See, every once in awhile I've snooped on some of the infertility message boards, just to try to understand what it's like to be on the other side. I tried to imagine what it's like being the person who getting my eggs...and I only partially thought I had a chance of putting two and two together and finding them.

But I did. And it's weird. But cool.

And I don't know if I should message her and let her know. Because I kind of don't want to, because I kind of enjoy being able to learn about her and know what she thinks of her donor, which she doesn't know is me.

But I feel sort of bad, like I'm invading her privacy...even though she IS posting on a public message board after all...

I like her though, and can't wait to donate to her.

It's weird that I'm an egg donor.
__________
I'm almost finished with this film. I'm glad. Maybe I was just raised too conservatively, but dealing with the subject matter of masturbation, porn tapes, vibrators, anal beads, sexual positions, and extreme profanity with 13 &14 yr. old boys is not exactly my cup of tea.

Comedy doesn't make it more acceptable either; it actually just makes it more uncomfortable. One of the things that I love about sex is the secrecy, mystique, and intrigue of what happens in private between two people - making sex into a joke in sex comedies kind of makes the idea of sex repulsing. To me, at least.

Anyways, good thing I actually like the kids. I have just been cringing for 4 weeks now that people actually think this stuff is funny enough to write and waste money producing.

Please God don't let this ever get distributed.

But thank you for the paycheck. :)

previous | next