Monday, May. 03, 2004 10:18 p.m.

"aunt flo" - what a retarded term.

disclaimer: "aunt flo" is fixin� to visit - it's that time. i apologize for any and all crankiness exhibited herein.

i hate video stores. well, i hate the videos in them. i hate movies with the same plot as every other movie. i hate special effects. i hate movies where things blow up. i hate movies where the guy gets the beautiful girl. i hate beautiful people. i hate ugly people too, for that matter.

i hate remakes of older movies. i hate how the same people(actors) grace every video case. i hate that there are actually people out there whose JOB it is to be an actor. and i hate that everyone wants to be one.

i hate the concept of being entertained, like we�re little babies who don�t know how to think on our own and must be pacified by the ever-changing pictures coming from that little box or big screen.

i hate bowling for columbine. i hate all these indie movies on gay couples. i hate all these insanely sexual themes in movies. i hate how making �controversial� films is becoming merely a fad. i hate movies that exist solely to stir up controversy. did i mention that i hate michael moore? i hate how the �cool� thing now is to blame everybody else for everything wrong with us. this super size me doc?! are you serious?? � it�s not mcdonalds fault that guy got so fat � it�s his freakin fault for eating mcdonalds for every freakin meal!! seriously, can't anybody take responsibility for themselves nowadays?? ahh!! i just hate modern culture sometimes � i think people are really stupid.

oh yeah, and i still hate video stores. hate seems to be a reoccurring theme in this entry, huh?

oh well, it�s not my fault that i�m like this today, right?...right?...i hate aunt flo! :)

previous | next

Thursday, Aug. 03, 2017 - hello?
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying

Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.