Friday, Sept. 29, 2006 12:05 p.m.
this war thing - and my rant about it
last night, I went to a test screening for a movie that'll be coming out in several months - it was just so the studio could get an audience's actual reaction and all that. we fill out surveys at the end telling what we thought.
it was set in the 60's, with the main characters being young and anti-war. a lot of people liked it. I didn't.
yesterday, I found out that my cousin, who is in Iraq, got injured by some bullets - nothing bad, just some grazing on the arms, but enough to cause pain and have pieces of metal still stuck in him.
my other cousin, also in the Navy, is worrying about possibility having to ship out there in a year.
it bothers me, thinking about all of us last night, sitting in our cushy theatre seats, expecting our climate-controlled surroundings, being entertained - for free. it bothers me that people in the sixties threw anti-war rallies; that people now throw anti-war rallies.
no one wants war. this is a given.
I do not know the details of this war. neither do you. I don't care if you read all the newspapers, even the "alternative" ones - you still don't know. unless you were one of the ones over there fighting, or someone at the head of the military - you don't know the truth.
but the fact remains that there are people over there - people MY age, people the age of the majority of anyone reading this - who are there. who are doing this. perhaps for school money, perhaps out of duty to the country, perhaps because it's the only thing they could do with their lives. either way, they are still there.
and we deserve to respect them, to honor them, to treat them with gratitude. we deserve to give them a hero's welcome when they get home...if they do. we deserve to show appreciation for what they are fighting for - even if you think you don't believe in it.
this city really bothers me. you don't have to agree with the war, but you shame the people serving and RISKING THEIR LIVES for us with so much anti-war propaganda.
if anything, on the most selfish and banal terms: at least encouraging people to support and join the military will postpone the need for a draft...where YOU might have to go and risk your life for the people who sit back at home in cushy theatre seats, in climate-controlled environments, and criticize the very thing you could die for.
I'm sorry I'm going off on this rant. I really, really hate letting myself get worked up about anything politics, I prefer to stay out of everything political...but I just need to say this. just to feel like my thoughts go somewhere. I'm sick of feeling like my opinion doesn�t belong.
you know - I wish americans were still as proud of being from the U.S. as texans are of being from Texas...things aren't perfect, but they ain't bad either...
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.