Wednesday, Dec. 21, 2005 1:53 p.m.
bff
those who have been reading mine or revisions diary for awhile may have realized that we are good friends. best friends, actually. nine years - through high school, college, grad school, moving, getting married, and figuring out what to do with life - will bring you through a lot together�
we hung out the past few days with some old girlfriends from college. it was fun and cool remembering old times and just having fun together. we talked about this and that and caught each other up on our current lives.
at one point, someone brought up blogging.
I smiled inside. revisions, sitting across the table, probably did too. both of us knowing our secret online diaryland lives, the friends we�ve known for years, yet never met in person. our opinion? we smartly didn�t voice much either way and waited for the topic to pass.
later in the conversation, our wannabe psychologist friend started talking about these IQ tests she has to give and score for grad school. she�s the kind of person that likes to sound smart, but really you know that no original thought has ever passed through her head.
slightly intrigued, I asked what kind of tests she used and who she tested.
(oh, and p.s. no one in the room other than revisions knew this, but I am actually a member of mensa. and currently training to be a proctor and give the mensa admission test� I know a thing or two about IQ tests�)
our wannabe physiologist friend quickly answered some wannabe answer that she probably memorized out of a book about IQ tests measuring cognitive ability that she probably assumed would go over my head so I wouldn�t ask anything else and catch her in her shallow understanding�of everything.
I didn�t ask anything else. but I smiled inside.
on the 3 hour drive home, me and revisions talked about things that only me and revisions would probably find interesting�knowledge, how we learn, the Socratic method, the blank slate theory, the different ways that we learn, the kids I teach and how they learn things, the difficulties of translation and meaning, both within ourselves and among different languages, reality and what is real, nature versus nurture, if homosexuality is genetic, gay marriage, marriage�s place in modern society, how we should raise our kids, culture, politics, meaning, living, everything�
I�m glad revisions is my friend. I think we are a rare breed.
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.