Monday, Dec. 28, 2009 9:00 a.m.
sex in marriage
On our long drive to and from Texas, K and I were reading a book on sexual relationships in marriage. It was written from a somewhat Christian viewpoint, but we were ok with that. To be honest, I couldn't really find any good marriage relationship books that WEREN'T religious...are only the religious interested in successful marriages??
Anyways, we'd been reading it on the trip and I think it's been really awesome. Normally, I would've never ever considered a "self-help"ish kind of book, seriously, I'm way to good for that :), but I'm so glad that we read it. We were able to open up, especially about sex, and it gave us an opportunity to really talk about the things we'd needed to, but hadn't.
Because it was from a slightly religious viewpoint, K and I were able to turn off any of the overtly Biblical stuff and focus on all the other good stuff. However, one of the very conservative beliefs is staying with me:
the belief that sex is for marriage only.
And the strange thing is, I'm starting to agree with that more and more.
Granted, we had sex before we got married. But after we pretty much knew we were going to marry. I lost my virginity to K, and I have never been with another man...in any way other than kissing. I don't feel like I'm missing out either. And in fact, now that I think about it, I do kind of wish that we had actually waited until we were married. Why? Well, because it would have been more special, I guess. Something to have actually marked the beginning of marriage as something different; as a brand new stage of life.
I highly doubt I know any other friends in Los Angeles who are currently with their only sexual partner. I hardly have any friends in Los Angeles who are even married. On one hand, it's kind of cool to feel like we are the only real married example in our peers and I hope we are a good example, on the other hand, it makes me kind of sad that people have such a skewed view of marriage now that they are either a) afraid to make the actual commitment, or b) feel as though they have to have all these sexual conquests beforehand.
I don't really know where I'm going in this entry. But I think I'm becoming a larger and larger advocate of marriage. And of sex only in marriage. Which is weird, because this sounds so conservative to say, and I'm not so much conservative, but logical. And I'm also not religious...but people tend to think that religion and conservativeness go hand and hand, but they don't.
Which make it hard for me to find friends who are like me, but I digress.
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014 - strange dream
Monday, Oct. 06, 2014 - catholic and friends
Thursday, Sept. 04, 2014 - changing. and I need to go to bed.
Saturday, Aug. 30, 2014 - dreams of dying
Chapters of My Life
Motherhood
Sept. 2011 - now Being a mother.
Isolation&Infertility (&pregnancy)
Aug. 2009 - Sept. 2011 Working from home in a job that I love...that comes with a loneliness I hate. A husband who works too much, and continued failure to start a family. Slowly spiraling, forgotten, into social invisibility. Accepting and experiencing the potential of pregnancy.
First-Year Teacher
Aug. 2008 - Aug. 2009. pretty much the hardest job I hope I ever have. and all the while trying not to admit my secret turmoil over longings for/attempts at/failure to produce what's supposedly supposed to come after love and then marriage...
Optimism
Aug. 2007 - Aug. 2008. finally accepting that becoming a normal grown up is not just inevitable, but preferable. better job situations for both of us. working freelance as a studio teacher, and becoming an egg donor.
Fading Dreams...
Dec. 2006 - July 2007. student teaching, being poor, consistent job rejections, trying to save face while feeling hopeless.
To Live a Life Worth Death...
July 2006 - Nov. 2006. thinking about death a lot, accepting life and my eventual end. career and passions - beginning the path of contribution to what I will leave behind...
Identity Crisis/Marriage
Oct. 2005 - Apr. 2006. new job. new career. new last name. new husband. new life. who was I and what was I becoming?
The Official End to Childhood? II
June 2005 - Sept. 2005. preparing for a life that still felt like pretend. was I really a 'grown-up' already? weird.
The Official End to Childhood? I
Feb. 2005 - June 2005. losing my virginity, getting engaged, changing my career, selling our childhood home...slowly losing everything that held me as a child... (Meet Mr. Mom 4/05 - 5/05. working/travelling on production of my 4th & LAST reality show ever.)
Quarter-Life Crisis/Unemployment
Sept. 2004 - Feb 2005. no steady job for 5 months - definitely not a good place to be. oh, and I fell in love - which is a good place to be, but it kind of only adds to the confusion.
Postlude to the Prelude
Apr. 2004 - May 2004. I had no clue what things were being set in motion...but everything has changed from there.
The Simple Life 2
Mar. 2004-Apr. 2004. not the deepest thinking period of my life, but I learned a heck of a lot about production of a reality tv show.
L.A. #2 - The Real World
Aug. 2003-Feb. 2004.the big move. transplanting my life. ironically not only working in the "real world", but also AT the company that makes The Real World.
That Weird, Here Nor There, Summer
May 2003-Aug. 2003. a college graduate, but not yet in the grown-up world. just existing. and waiting. and thinking.
Goodbye College
Jan. 2003-May 2003. it's a weird thing, the last semester of college. lots of thinking about what lies beyond.
The Semester From Hell
Aug. 2002-Dec. 2002. it was kind of like I tried to cram 4 yrs. of growing-up experiences into one semester.
I've Changed?
Apr. 2002-Aug. 2002. after L.A. and stuck right in-between the two most intense "finding-myself" semesters of my life!
L.A. #1 - Interning/Discovering
Jan. 2002 - Apr. 2002. I finally stepped WAY outside my comfort zone and went where I had no freakin idea what I was doing. Living outside your bubble for awhile really makes you see differently.
Beginnings/Depression
Aug. 2001-Jan. 2002. who I was, and sometimes who I still am. how it started and how it was before.